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Maybe it was something
of the mystery that drew me to want to be involved. I joined
the church choir when I was 8. This opened up the church for
me in a whole new way. I could get closer to the altar. I
could see the back rooms when we'd rehearse. I would see the
vestments and robes of the priests and altarboys and girls.
Where the candles, chalices and communion wine were stored.
We would sing hymns and learn anthems. The sexton would even
let me ring the church bell. For me it was an honour to be
able to play a part in the service.
When I was confirmed
the next year, I did feel that something important was happening.
My strongest memories are that it was an extra special Sunday.
I had a special white dress along with twentysomething others,
and most of all, finally I could satisfy my curiosity and
taste the funny looking wafer they called bread, and drink
the wine!
Even though the
realisation was not concrete, I can definitely look back and
see how God's hand was on me then. I see how he gently held
me and guided me all the years until I was 16 or 17. It was
then that I started to think seriously about church and what
it was all about. After years of church going, hymn singing,
youth meetings and endless other church activities, the crux
finally came. If there was any truth and meaning in what I
was celebrating every Sunday, and if Jesus really did give
Himself for me, then I felt I wanted to live with this God.
There was so much I did not understand. But I was hungry.
I wanted to know more.
So without much
drama I knelt on my bedroom floor and asked God to be apart
of my life. No lightning, no thunder. Still the effects have
been long lasting and undeniable. I started to read the Bible.
I began to really pray. Everything became so much more meaningful
to me. I felt like I was connecting with life. It's like my
soul had been asleep but had now become alive. I literally
fell in love with God. It was then that I started to write
songs and sing. My first songs were mostly love songs to Jesus.
I sang and wrote and sang and wrote. I can't explain it in
any other way but that I just had to write and sing.
To this very day
I cannot deny the one in me driving me to write and sing.
My decision to serve God at 16 or 17 sparked a whole number
of life consequences. It scares me to think I could have missed
so much if I did not have the freedom to risk and dream, knowing
that I was in the hands of the great God. I remember being
at a camp in Florida for a few summers. Here I really grew
in faith, not to mention my confidence. For the first time
I sang my own songs to a crowd of people. They wildly (and
graciously) applauded my fledgling efforts. That was encouragement
I needed to keep going! At 19 I left the safe haven of the
University in Barbados for an unknown and uncertain future
in England.
It turned out to
be the right move. Over the next 8 years I completed my studies
in Psychology and alongside continued the music. Actually,
again I felt driven to write songs. And in this period, church
support, certain connections and the generosity of a friend
gave me the chance to do my first recording. Subsequently
I accepted an invitation to sing in Germany - just me and
my guitar. At first I thought, that was a nice little adventure.
But the adventure continued. The invitations for concerts
and recordings increased and the next years took us repeatedly
to every Bundesland (except the Saarland) and countries like
Austria, Switzerland, USA, Poland, Slovakia, Finland, Rumania,
South Africa as well as back to England, Wales and the Caribbean.
And in this time I found my man. Somewhere in all the travelling
and singing he just somehow stepped into my life. And after
we got married, I went back to school and learned German.
Who knows what
will happen? I would never have thought I'd be in the situation
I am now. Things could have been so different. I have no doubt
that it is because of placing my life in God's hands that
summer years ago. Looking back, I am forever grateful. Definitely!
And looking forward to the things to come I am full of hope,
excitement and anticipation. Because I know: God is an adventurer.
Judy Bailey
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